The following
article appeared in the May, 1999, issue of When Saturday Comes
Different Bull Game
The history of
live animals in football stadiums is not a happy one. Cats, dogs, hares and
cockerels have all at various times attempted to infringe the field of play and
have ended up being dragged ignominiously to an unknown fate behind the main
stand, usually by the mud-stained steward who was reduced to a laughing stock
while reincarcerating his catch. Or, if they have not infiltrated the ground
themselves, they have been used to embarrassing ends, for example in jousting
matches to open major international football tournaments.
A new chapter
in this sorry catalogue of football-related creature chaos was opened by one
Hugo Holenstein, the little known vice president of Swiss first division side
FC Zurich. While the Swiss league was taking its winter break he spotted a
one-year old bull, which had escaped from the local slaughterhouse, cavorting
around the exterior of the clubís Letzigrund stadium. Clearly a three month
pause from football can induce wild ideas in a soccer-starved mind. Mister
Holenstein bought the escapee for 2000 Swiss francs and decreed that it should
be the new club mascot.
While the bull,
christened 'Maradona', was taken off to a local monastery to meditate on its
near-death experience and prepare for the second half of the season, Holenstein
set about constructing a philosophy to justify his purchase. The bull, he
pronounced in the programme notes for FC Zurichís opening game against St
Gallen at the end of February, had shown "cleverness, speed, an unbridled
will to win and strength in the challenge". These, of course, would be
exactly the characteristics demonstrated by the Zurich players on their way
to lifting the Swiss title.
As far as the
team was concerned this was not entirely rhetorical optimism prompted by the
imminence of spring. They were just three points behind leaders Servette,
and after an invigorating autumn UEFA Cup run which saw them narrowly defeated
at the last 16 stage by Roma, many fans genuinely believed the club could
pip the hated Grasshoppers and lift its first title for nearly 20 years. Maradona,
however, was also keen to live up to his billing.
Half an hour before kick-off the bull was herded from his transporter by half a dozen caretakers and secured to a post by the side of the pitch. Scenting the carcasses of his former friends from the slaughterhouse nearby, or maybe just the aroma of the vile grilled veal sausages which the Swiss subject their stomachs to before a game, Maradona once again made his bid for freedom and broke loose, running onto the pitch. The stretching players from both sides were certainly quick and clever, and they sprinted for the tunnel, although their appetite for victory and guts for a challenge were somewhat thrown into question.
Maradona, meanwhile,
having cleared the pitch, lunged for the photographers instead, none of whom
hung around for an exclusive close-up. Then he charged several security barriers
(an actual hanging offence in Switzerland for human beings) and gained free
entry to the main stand, ensuring that the few spectators scattered to the
exits before he was pacified by a tranquiliser and ejected from the ground.
Club President
and sugar-daddy Sven Hotz watched furiously as the drama unfolded, probably
grateful for once that Swiss league games attract such pathetic crowds. Indeed
things could have been serious had the stadium been filled to capacity with
27,000 people, but the last time there was a crowd like that for a Swiss league
game was when FC Basel let everyone in for free (FC Zurich average about 5,500).
Hotz said he had been against the idea from the start and imposed a stadium
life ban on Maradona, who was swiftly returned to monastic life. Holenstein
whined that lots of people had thought it was a good idea until things went
wrong and "now everyone says it's all my fault".
The team played
abysmally and lost 2-0. They went on to lose their next three games as well,
scoring just one goal, and at the time of writing were twelve points off the
lead, with aspirations of another UEFA Cup place looking dependent on winning
the Swiss Cup. Coach Raimondo Ponte has been busy blaming referees, while
the fans are desperate not to scapegoat the players who played so magnificently
in the first half of the season. But itís obvious - deep inside everyone's
blaming the hapless bull.
Perhaps it is
time for Holenstein to rectify his harbinger of bad luck and nominate a new
mascot. Itís obvious really. Zurich boasts a world class zoo with a fine selection
of large feline. And FC Zurich is officially nicknamed 'The Lions'...